So Much Publicity!

last vestige of my former life.

Just as the blog seems to be picking up steam and notoriety (HA HA just as I always predicted, of course. but for real I'm obsessed with anyone reading this right now) it seems that I have become busy somehow! Not busy like "omg-the new melrose place is on at the same time as 18 kids and counting" but ACTUALLY, real life busy! I have been traveling (just got back from Brazil - amazing time, amazing peopleeee getting crazy in taxis...apparently) and I'm going to Canada tomorrow which I think is my parents' final stab at saying "please get out now or we'll make you take more trips like this." I do have a lot to say about a myriad of topics but I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open wide enough to fully soak in the fact that Tom DeLay is on Dancing with the Stars dancing to "Wild Thing"...and doing a good job. So is Aaron Carter, for that matter (I mean, I haven't doubted him since "That's How I Beat Shaq") YouTube that immediately. Here are some things that seem to have happened while I was grinding to Ace of Base in a Brazilian discoteca:

1) Khloe Kardashian is getting married. HUH?? That family can do no wrong in my eyes but honestly KK #3. Think about this. You don't have to tie the knot just to prove you're not a man any more. The world is almost 98% sure you're not packing sausage anymore!

2) The Emmys happened. I don't really care or know who won anything bu

t the dresses were really interesting this year! Even Blake Lively (who, for some reason, my mind has ostracized from positive thoughts, looked smokin'). If you care about this type of thing at all check out this website: http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/

3) Summer Obsessions: Taylor from the rachel zoe project (her style and I Hate Everything attitude kill me), caipirinhas- made only with cachaça, not vods, blazers I need more but should probably start working before I commit money I don't have, amazing food - more importantly having time to make good things and/or eat it with great people- there's just no reason to eat bad food anymore, naps, great in any season but falling asleep poolside with a great book brings it to a whole new level of phenom relaxation.

4) also. WTF HAPPENED TO MY SUMMER?? Even my alma mater has begun classes which means its legit late in the game right now. Fortunately for me, the party continues! I'm going to SF after Canada to visit the 99% of my classmates who have chosen to reside in the bay arreeeaaaa after grad. I. Can't. Wait.

5) WHIP IT IS GOING TO BE MY FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME.

Here is an important video I took at the zoo in DC this summer. This sea lion scooted its way into my soul.

"You guys...I'm getting married!"

Obviously not. BUT I've always dreamed of uttering these words of jubilation to my special friends and family when I finally do meet that special someone. The following article struck as me as interesting (and much more light hearted fare than my previous post) because I always envisioned myself tying the knot somewhere around the age of 26- same age as this author. 

In this modern day (especially for a woman who wants to work) the question of marriage hovers amidst the chaos of financial stability, achieving career goals in a timely manner and, of course, the ticking away of one's biological clock. As I have gotten older, I realize my expectation of being all settled down by 26 is probably not realistic (I think I've made it pretty clear by now that I do not have a job) for several reasons. Marriage always seemed like such a foreign concept to me, only to be associated with the super-old and mature, but nooowww people who I once stood side-by-side and took shots of Popov with are now taking the ultimate leap into marital fidelity. Which is crazy. In Vegas, there are always a lot of sleazy bachelor parties going on which have definitely been fun and to my advantage but on a recent trip to Austin, TX, one of my best friends and I somehow became involved in a very different kindof bachelor soiree. These guys were actually nice and polite...aaaand no one (save for one sneaky creeper) was over 30!!! And it turned out that a lot of the "bachelors" were actually married! That entire weekend gave me entirely new perspective on marriage- one can be young, happy, fun, working, carefree...AND MARRIED?!! HUH?? 

Anyway, read the article and see for yourself what category (designated by time-zone cultural differences) you seem to fall into with your beliefs in the "right" age for marriage.

The Marriage Divide, Washingtonpost.com

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/31/AR2009083101839.html

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF JOE WILSON. I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CONSTITUENTS IN SOUTH CAROLINA.

In case you were wondering, his website is currently down (probably due to the soaring influx of hate mail) but I literally can not believe the disrespect for the OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY that took place last night. 

Rap Lyrics vs. The Beatles

This past Saturday night, my family and I passed the time by cooking dinner together. In case you were wondering we made Sugar & Spice Duck Breast with White Corn Truffle Polenta and Kale (recipe available at Williams-Sonoma.com) and it was delicious. Anyway, while we were cooking, the Mother decided to pump up the jams by playing some tracks from Whitney Houston's new album which, unfortunately, blows harder than the dick she sucked to feed her coke habit. Poor Whit. After about 30 minutes, I became anxious listening to this monstrosity of a record and decided to swap it for a Beatles CD (also, I hadn't used a CD in awhile and I put it in face down ha ha). It was a hit...of course! The Father, Mother, and I all joined in and were able to enjoy one classic melody after another. But when "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" came on, Father made a comment that really stuck with me for the duration of the evening- while casually stirring the fig-infused au jus he remarked, "Now those were some risque lyrics!"  At first I did the usual oh-em-gee-you-are-my-dad-and-therefore-I-am-obligated-to-think-everything-you-say-is-uncool eye roll but then Mother said "I mean, it really is poetry...none of this Bitch come here baby baby oh ya ya" (which by the way, is her most commonly used lyric when referring to any rap song ever made). I thought for a second and realized I didn't have the heart, or the stomach really, to bring to their attention the fact that rap lyrics today extend far beyond a mere frequent usage of the word "bitch" but rather have become so obscene that it has become kindof embarrassing to even sing along to one's favorite song...which is actually pretty bad! 

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE RAP MUSIC. My favorite (hazy) memories definitely consist of grinding to some saucy Lil Jon mix followed by endless Pitbull in a stranger's arms. One of my best friends at school once remarked to me about the defamatory nature of some of the lyrics (although she of course "loved the beat," too) but I heartily dismissed her prudishness and poured us another shot of Bacardi Razz (hardcore). But after chatting with my parents I realized that maybe something really should be done...but what? I do not think the music industry is responsible for all of the world's violence or even the degradation of women in general but honestly, what is the point of being so incredibly graphic?!? I mean, keep in the bedroom! Once when I was at the gym (literally, once, because  I think I went to the gym about 3 times all of senior year) I remember stepping off the Elliptical and nonchalantly singing along to "Shake That Monkey" by Too $hort. My sparkly earphones were in so I was unaware of the volume of my voice, as usual, but stopped and looked around awkwardly when I realized I had actually just said 

"Now put yo ass on his dick

Let him know you da baddest lil bitch
Put ya hand on ya clit
Ask him do he like that shit"

IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. IN PUBLIC. WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE. The melody is so catchy so I mean why not, right?! But wouldn't it be nice to go back to a simpler time when holding hands instead of dicks was normal for a first "date." I think so. The Beatles have lasted forever and its not embarrassing to listen to their songs with the elderly or youngsters. Yet their lyrics still retain the meaning and significance of love... and maybe even hint at provocative behaviors to come later. I think there is something to be said for being respectful of the private things that a man may want to do to a woman (or another man), or vice versa if you're a Lil Kim type. All of this being said I can't stop, won't stop (cause I came to get down) listening to rap songs but I will be more receptive to those who find the lyrics offensive.

So that was how I spent my Saturday night. I realize now that the most depressing thing about being in Las Vegas isn't the oppressive heat or my lack of friends on a daily basis but that the most amazing artists come to perform and DJ in clubs here (this weekend my current favorites LMFAO, Kaskade, and deadmau5 were ALL HERE) and I can't even go down to the strip to see them!!! Its beyond depressing because dancing to fun music used to fulfill a decent amount of my usual happiness quota but soon my family is going on a few trips so hopefully my mind will be taken off my lack of employment etc. 

HAPPY LABOR DAY Y'ALL! Thank god for Lifetime's "Goin' into Labor" Day specials. 

And feel free to share your favorite naughty rap lyrics below! 

You will all be happy to know that tonight, at approximately 12:18 am, my dog, after coming in from a midnight pee, happily trotted in while I was watching Sweeney Todd and dropped a bloody, dead rat at my feet. I am not a squeamish person usually but I have never EVER in my entire life screamed so loudly or just literally freaked out to the point of tears. I screamed until my parents awoke and were able to magically make it go away. Goodnight. My dog is a murderer and probably has rabies.